December 17th 2007

Reading Old Entries is Always Amazing. I've come so far in my life...

New Years Reflection:

So it is almost that time. The time where everyone begins to contemplate all of their New Year resolutions. This always gets me thinking. Thinking about what has happened to me, how I have changed, grown throughout the year, and how far I have come. This year I have made new friends, become closer with current friends, and grown apart with others. Friendship is truly the most important thing in my life. Everyone should have someone in their life to go, be there for them, or just chill out with. The friends that I have grown apart from will always be apart of my life in someway. They have all made an impact on me and I have learned and grew from them all. Through my new found friendships I've learned that everyone does need someone there for them no matter what. I have always practiced this but it has become more relevant as time has passed.

I've learned that is OK to need someone. So many people say that you should never need anyone in your life. You should want them in your life. I have come to realize that it is actually a little of both but one more than the other as it grows. Relationships are amazing. They do take work no matter what anyone says. Yes, you shouldn't have to push for something in the beginning because if it was truly meant to be it would not be so hard. Everyone that has been in my life I've learned to be more and more open with them. It really is hard to open up to someone with the chance of getting hurt but you know what, it's ok. These things happen and if you don't just put yourself out there and take that chance. It is never really worthwhile. One thing I never want to do is look back and think what if. What if I did more? What if I just said that one thing or did that one thing? It would truly haunt me for my life if I had to do that. This goes with everything I do though. Lately I have been incredibly upfront with people and not holding back. If people really feel the way you think they do or hope, you will never really find out unless you confront them or just ask. It never does hurt to ask anyone anything. Always best to just get through it and deal with the situation instead of letting it grow into something that it is not.

Everyone knows me as the incredibly optimistic, happy go lucky guy. This is true about me but as with everyone I do get down sometimes. I really try not to dwell on anything. I strongly whole heartedly believe that if it was meant to be it will be. "What will be, Will be as some say. If it's going to happen it will, if not then eh so what. Move on, learn from it, and make, do, or be a better person because of it. Sometimes it hurts and is difficult to move on but, "What does not kill you makes you Rambo." The other night I was watching this movie and one thing the actor said in it is. "You know in a crazy sort of way I am glad that It happened. Cause you gotta get knocked down to get back up and all that." He was talking about being cheated on and how it felt. But putting in context with life in general. Think about it, sometimes life has to kick you in the butt in order to realize your strength, what you are capable of, realize who you are and all.

This year has truly been a mind blowing, life altering year. I've traveled to so many places. Been through a lot of let downs and disappointments but through it all I am still standing and stronger than before. I am incredibly grateful for those that have been there and also to myself for having the will to bare it all alone when I had to. I'm even more grateful for the new friendships I have made. I've grown to be a better person and still have some growing to do. This life is a journey and until it ends I'm living every day to its limit. Carpe Diem, Carpe Diem. Always looking forward, learning from the past but never looking back. No Regrets. Looking forward to the new adventures I shall encounter in life