Christmas/Holidays 2011

Christmas is a wonder time of the year. Traditionally it is a time where families get together and have a most festive time. In the past years this time has changed and evolved. Instead of just families getting together it has evolved into friends, lovers and others getting together during this time of year. The holidays are a time where people who normally would not be together any other time of the year get together. Last Christmas I was with friends. We had a Gay ol' time cooking, laughing, drinking and just enjoying each others company...This year I will be spending Christmas once again in So Cal. It will an interesting Christmas as I really do not have any plans. Most likely it will be with my best friends family with a TON of over eating. As of late I have realized that even though my Christmas and New Years have all been pretty memorable and amazing I have been single. I am truly looking forward to that this time of the year where I am spending time with my special someone. Whether it is with friends in tow or not. It will be truly epic.

Unsent Letter

In life sometimes there are things left unsaid. Sometimes there are those moments that you wish could happen, but never do. The other day I came across a letter I wrote to a special someone. At the time I was feeling a sense of longing. Yearning for them to be with me. Only in California for a year at the time. Makes me wonder why i never sent this letter. Why I still have not parted with it.... "... I've been in Cali for almost a year now. It is so weird and surreal to think that is has been that long since i last saw you. The last time I was in Philly, my attempt to surprise you with a visit, failed. My cell died and for about an hour as i sat contemplating how to get in, no one walked out. It did not even cross my mind that i could have knocked on your window through the back alley. I was taken back and just speechless when i received your post card in the mail. Even though much was not written, i felt EVERYTHING. Every feeling for you I have been trying to forget came rushing back. I live, we live so...so far apart from one another. I thought it would be easier to forget you. The problem is that i really do not want to forget you. I wish nothing, but for you to be out here in California. I just want you to come on your own accord. It is difficult to write and not get choked up. I just want you here with me. Live in Cali. We date and court one another all over again. Life is about taking chances and i am all for them. I am just afraid if we do not work out then what will you do. I would hate for someone to move three thousand miles for me and then be left out alone in the cold because it was not "meant to be." i care for you greatly and wish nothing more than a happy life. I just need to be realistic, yet keep secretly wishing. You are truly an ultimate dream that i wish would come true. Gabriel

Reflection/This Life

As I sit here and stare at my reflection I ponder... I wonder how this person standing in front of me came to be. Why have I been chosen to lead this path in life. How am I so blessed to chosen to do this. At times I wonder what has happened. What have i done to get here. How exactly did I get here. There are so many out there wishing they could be in my shoes. I think to myself, I do not want this life. I think to myself, so many would kill for this life. What are these feelings I am having. Why do I feel this way? Why do I suddenly have all these questions? These dreams I've been having lately make me wonder. Make me question my life. Is it truly what i wanted? Is this what I have worked for? Only time will tell I guess...

Who You Are

Who are you is who you are. It matters not what others think. Trying to fit in. Trying to be someone else and not realizing your own potential. The other day I was catering a holiday party for my ski/snowboard club. This was most definitely a difficult task as it tested me. Staying true to myself. Staying true to my vision. There were many adversities in the planning of this event and menu. I seriously felt like I was being doubted the whole way. Although the end result was a total success. This got me thinking... Being true to who you are is so important. Even when you are feeling like you should change for another. Change for a group in order to stay current, fit in, or just feel a sense of belonging. What we sometimes do not realize is that being true to who we are makes us incredible. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes we feel there is no other way. We do not want to look back and wonder what happened. Thinking to one's self, "How did I get here? What happened to me? The real me. This is all apart of the journey we call life. Remember, "Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing and it is OK to not be OK." Don't lose who you are. I truly believe and am pretty sure. Who you are is pretty incredible. Everybody hurts sometimes. It is apart of what makes us who we are. All the experiences we have in our life happen for a reason.