Endevaours

Something New. Something Different. We should  all aspire to take on new endevaours in our lives. A new challenge. Start of a new adventure. Even if we do not end up liking the end result. The experience  we gain from each activity is priceless, timeless and at times...Classic.

Something Different

It was a cool summer night when they first saw each other. The moment their eyes met, they both wondered about this new feeling. A feeling for a stranger. Someone they do not know. Each thinking to themselves, “Who is this person. Why do I feel so connected to them.” One approaches the other and it feels so right, so easy to interact with one another. After time a date ensues. Incredible for one, but the other is a little more hesitant. Thinking this can’t be right. There must be something wrong. Trying to figure out these feelings. Asking why it is so right. Wondering if they have finally found their match…Another date ensues and the one breaks through those feelings of hesitation. Thinking, why hold back and miss out on something incredible. Over time more dates ensue. The bond/dates between the two begins to grow. Grows into something more than just casual. It begins become something greater. Their passion and feelings have sky rocketed. Each thinks, “This could be the one.” Months, weeks, days have passed. The two are walking home from an incredible French restaurant. It begins to rain, pour. They begin to run making it to the door step. Staring into each other’s eyes, begin to kiss and embrace one another. One pulls back and says those three words…”I Love You.”

Never Knew (Thoughts)

There are so many of us who have friends in need. Friends who need us there in their lives. Need to be saved/rescued from a situation they are in. We must speak up and ask if something is wrong. They will not always tell you, for there is fear of judgment or disapproval on your part. Remain open and make the other feel they can come to you with anything. Above all else remember to ask if you even have a small inkling that something maybe wrong. You could be saving someone’s life. Helping them go on and live a life they never thought could be obtained…Life is a gift and what an incredible one at that. Not everyone may be able to see this on their own. That is why friends are there to assist them in seeing how great life could be/can be. IS...

Never Knew

I never knew how much were hurting. I never realized how much you needed. I never knew you were reaching out for me. Crying inside, hurting inside. Wishing someone would come along and rescue you. I never thought you wanted any help, needed any help. You seemed so self sufficient. So independent and able to do everything on your own. Taking care of everyone, including yourself. A master of disguise you were. Always the one others looked up to. Others aspired to be you. Your name mentioned in various circles. Always praised, never slandered. Having no idea you were actually the one who wished you could be what everyone else thought you were. For so long I thought we were the best of friends. Maybe we were, but now I will never know for sure. In my heart I truly believe you did love me. We were the greatest friends ever to be united. No other friendships could compare. Now that you are gone I will never know for sure. You took your life and left me this note. A note of only two words, “I’m sorry.” Thinking in my head I have no idea what that means. We always said we would never be sorry for anything when it came to one another. I now feel there is so much I never knew about you. This discovery hurts me inside. Gets me thinking how many of my other friends do I really know. You were my confidant. The one I knew I could always come to for advice and comfort. I thought I was the same for you. I am still hurting inside. Thinking back to those times we had together. All of our crazy antics. I cry as I think of those moments. Oh how I miss you. Wishing I could have saved you. Knew what was going on. If only, if only I would have been there more. I thought I was, but maybe I wasn’t. I have so many questions. So many questions that can never be answered. No one knows the answer but you. So much of your life I feel I never knew. Never knew. Never knew…

Love was...You

Love was something I looked forward to. Love was what got me through the hard times. Those moments where I felt I could not go on. Love was everything to me. I was engulfed in love. Life without love was something I never thought could happen. Without Love in my life I thought I would die. The intensity and happiness I felt with Love was indescribable. Love was my life. I thought about Love every day. Waking up in the morning and going to bed at night, Love was always on my mind. You were my love. My version of love. I don’t think you ever knew. Never knew the way I felt. The intensity of my feelings. How dependent I came. Maybe you did know. Maybe this is why you are no longer in my life. You wanted me to understand what love really is. You knew while we were together, All I could think was…Love was…You

Didn't Know

Sometimes Love comes at the most unexpected of times. You can be out ready to see an old friend and meet the love of your life. All of sudden you are engaged in a conversation that you hope will never end. Love knocks you down and all you can do is get back up and take it. Just smile and think wow this is incredible. You know this is what love is. After all of the past loves, you thought you loved before. You now know, you didn’t know what love was until this one came into your life. ..

Situations

Have you ever had the most incredible day, to only receive the most devastating news towards the end? Something so tragic that it shoots right through you? What does one do when this happens? Go on living their life? This is incredibly easy to say to someone. Especially if you are not or never have been in this type of situation. A situation where you feel down and out. Thinking to yourself. Why? How could this happen to me? What have I done so wrong in life to deserve this? These are just a few things that goes through your mind. One can get over it in time. A support group of friends and family always help. It is an incredible feeling to know you have at least one person there for you. That one friend you know will be in your life no matter what. Even when life is at its worst there is always an upside to the situation. It usually is not clear at first, but hopefully one day seen we shall all realize what it is.

Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. The day where you get to do extra for that special someone in your life. I often hear one does not need to do anything for another on this day. They have been good to them all year round. Why not let the other do a little extra something on this incredible day. People are together because they care for each other. On Valentine's Day a couple feels they can do a little something extra crazy. Express their feelings for the other at a heightened level. This day could begin an intense romance. Pretty much I believe Valentine's Day is not over rated. It is a day where everyone gets an extra boost of confidence to do something for the one they care about.

Opening Up

Why is that we feel much more comfortable writing down our thoughts instead of expressing them? When we feel we have something to say, instead of actually speaking up and revealing what is on one's mind we write. Being expressive verbally is such an incredible release. It frees one of any regrets, what if's, etc...Opening up is hard sometimes but necessary to truly reveal who you are.

Success

Have you ever noticed that when one moves up in life, there always is one upset with your success? It could be the ones you thought were the closest to you, the distant friends you only see every once in a while. No matter what there's always at least one upset about you proceeding in life. Why is that? Is there something wrong with bettering yourself? Living the dream and achieving goals set for oneself? I think not

Wrong One/Right One

What is love? Love is being with someone who accepts you for who you are. Have you ever been with someone that just thought you did everything wrong? Thought you were a mess and just plain stupid, useless and hard to please. Then you meet someone who thinks the total opposite. They want to show you off to the world. Take you anyplace and never embarrassed to be seen with you. They think you are funny, and irresistible. The most incredible person they have met in a long time. All of those little quirks and flaws you have are just a grain of sand to this one. You now feel appreciated and not hated anymore. You realize how much better you feel with this one. In the past you felt beaten down… Now you think, “Where did I go right? How did I get you?” You have no idea how you did, but somehow now you do. Talking to a friend the other day I realized there are many of us that stay in a doomed relationship because it was convenient, a sure thing or just easier than being alone. A mistake almost everyone has done in their dating career. Later down the road we realize how early in the beginning it could have been prevented…

Maybe

Maybe I did love you. I was afraid to tell you. Afraid of what you would have said. Maybe I left because I was afraid. I had to get out of there. I lost my way down there. It’s easy to get lost in fear. Maybe the end is the beginning. Maybe I will find my way. Come back with a new sense of clarity. We could become something pretty incredible. Maybe you will be there waiting for me. Maybe you will have moved on. Found love without me. Found another who stands where I stood. Another who gives you all the things I never could. Maybe I will be too late. Too late to get back in your life. Maybe I will finally realize all that I had. All that I lost. Learn from this experience. Find a love of my own. Not be afraid and do it right this time.

Learning

The other day I had lunch with an ex of mine. We had a pretty whirl wind of a relationship. It went from Incredible to downright disastrous. There were so many things in hind sight I realized could have been prevented. Also, I see the decision made was a great one as there would have really been no chance of it ever lasting. This was an incredibly bright and structured person, but not someone I could grow or be with for the long haul. I realized through this relationship what I thought I wanted/needed in a relationship is not exactly what I wanted/needed. Sure it is possible to get those things we really want/need in a relationship. I just realized what I truly wanted and did not want. The values, goals, morals, energy and passion should be similar. I realized I want to enjoy every moment with that person and not hide my joy from anyone. To have to hide the intense happiness one feels about another and never really able to share with the world is a tragedy. I also realized the improvements I needed to make in my life in order to really appreciate and have someone in my life. So far I have accomplished a few of the goals I have set for myself. After all one cannot really ask another to have the qualities we want without having them in ourselves first. This would just not be fair. Relationships are always a gamble. At one point or another it is inevitable for one to hit the jack pot. Look back and think all of those others lead you to this point.

Living in the Past/Growing up

Reading the paper today I realized, there are many out there living in the past. How long can one continue to live in the past before the present and future give them a huge dose of reality? I have met a few people living in their glory days. The time where everything was perfect. They felt like the ‘Big Man’ on campus. Is this because they are afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone? What makes one so afraid to move on with their lives? Take that next step and become an adult. Growing up is never really easy. Some days you feel like the world is out to get you. Others you feel like you hit rock bottom. Then you have those reality check moments where you think, “Wow, this is growing up. I am becoming an adult.” All of this is part of growing up. Never forgetting about the past but learning from it. Taking that wisdom with you in your life and becoming a new and improved you. We cannot worry about the past and think, “What If?” Gotta keep moving on and do our best living in the present, looking towards the future. Reminiscing in the past is cool sometimes, but living it is not so cool or healthy for that matter.

Initiative

As of late I have been taking the initiative in matters of the heart. In speaking with a friend I realized that I never actually have. I honestly have never been the one to take the first step. I have always been the one being approached. This is an ideal situation, but leaves one without the skills of how to start conversations with love interest. I am learning this the hard way, but it feels good. I can now understand the feelings others have when they are rejected by another. The moment where you are on such a high thinking, “I got this.” Only to be turned down. Also, I have made myself more aware of pop culture and current events. After all these are all things one must know in order to hold conversation at times. All in all I am incredibly happy to be taking the initiative and putting myself out there. It most definitely has been scary to do at first, but I am adjusting. Learning body language and the point where you just know if someone is into you or not…

Super Bowl Sunday

Super Bowl Sunday was yesterday. A time where friends, family and sometimes random characters get together in a centralized location to watch Americas most beloved game. FOOTBALL…I spent this day with a few friends, extended family and random characters. I met the most interesting people as well as a love interest…It was an incredible day of great drinks and TONS of food. I could not have asked for anything more. At one moment I realized how good my life really is here in California. I have obtained such an incredible structure of friends and friends parents that I like to call “extended family.” The love interest I met was quite interesting. I am not sure if the feeling is mutual or not. The fact that there was such an abundance of alcoholic beverages always makes me wonder of which side of the person is talking. Yes, I believe there is always some truth in others actions and speak even when they are inebriated. Although, one should be sure of what part is true before reacting…

Friends

Friends are incredible. I thank God everyday for the friends I have in my life. Without them i seriously do not know where i would be. At times friends have a reality check. A moment in their lives where they wish they would of done things differently. The only thing one can really do is learn from what happened in the past and move on. Understand why your friend feels this way and work on yourself to be a better person. I recently had this type of moment. I tend to always tend to write the things down i feel my friends would not understand. That moment in life where i feel they just would not listen or hear what i am saying. The thing we all must realize, is if we are friends with someone we should tell them what is on our mind all the time. This is the only way to truly be best friends. Why hold anything back. Is it really for your friend or are you afraid of confrontation? Afraid of losing that one dear friend you would not replace for another in the world...