Inhibitions

It is said that when one has suppressed feelings or thoughts, they come out when all inhibitions are lowered. When one does some sort of extracurricular activity. Whether drugs or alcohol they are more open to do the things they really want to do. There is no reasoning stopping them to do what they have always wanted. This could be a number of things such as: going after the one you have always wanted in your life, taking a risky adventure or wager, having sex with someone of the same gender. The thing is that no matter how many times you try to convince yourself it was the drug that made you do it. The truth of the matter is, you would have not done so if you were not already thinking about it. A friend of mine had a hard time with this. They recently went to a party and ended up having sex with another of the same sex. Now they freaking out because it is not something they would normally do under other circumstances. The thing is in my opinion…It is what they always wanted to try out or do. Waking up in the morning, recollecting the night before and then saying, “OH CRAP” is normal. We just have to take a step back and figure out ourselves a little more. Why did this happen? Did I like it? Am I cool with it?...

Letting Go

When someone cheats and tells you about it, do you forgive them? Do you continue the relationship? It’s a situation where you are left broken. For some reason you cannot let them go. There is something that makes you want to forgive them and take them back. You are there waiting for them to come back around and be their old selves again. You still have your doubts and still not sure if the right decision was made. Falling apart, barely breathing with a broken heart. You are in love and find meaning in holding on instead of letting go.

Conquest

Talking to one of my dear friends the other day, we spoke about conquests. People who do not really want to date another unless there is some sort of conquest. They feel there has to be some sort of challenge/struggle. It is all a type of game to them. One should not have to win over someone’s affection. This is something that is either obtained or not. This got me thinking…How many of us having dated someone that was just looking for a conquest? Some of us have never realized this. While others did only after they had already given themselves to the other. A situation where you are with someone for a few months. Everything is going incredible. The two of you are together quite often and have the feel like this could be going somewhere. One day you find out that they are taken. They do care for you, but a large part of what keeps their interest is the conquest. The feeling of having a type of power over others.

Dollars

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were financially stricken? A time when you feel there is no way you can dig yourself out of the hole you created? You are feeling so down and out, thinking to yourself, you have no one to blame but yourself. No one else can truly put you in debt besides yourself. The source of the cash is actually you. You are your own person that is able to make decisions. Sure, there are many that get taken advantage of, but this is rarely the case people are in debt. Time passes and the bills keep piling up. They keep telling themselves this will get paid. Constantly putting off their debt until one day it has turned into a mountain. We are all able to dig ourselves out of these situations. Yes, it may take a bit of time in order to be back on our feet. Some of us by the grace of God have a support group, friends, family. Someone is there to show us the way. All of the tools are out there. We just need to use them. Financial advice is everywhere you look. Suzie Orman is on the television amongst many others. Barnes and Nobles has a huge selection of finance books. There are also those people that no matter what are willing to help. They will put you on a schedule. The schedule may seem unrealistic, difficult and just downright wrong at the moment. Eventually you will feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The key is create a plan, take it one day at a time and never give up.

Attraction

Have you ever been attracted to someone you see almost every day? One day you see them and realize they are not as beautiful as you once thought? This got me thinking. When we begin dating someone is it all about looks? I know all relationships begin with some sort of attraction, but are we blind to what they really look like…The way we see people always changes once we get to know them. Their personality, confidence, and charisma either makes you think they are beautiful or ugly. The time it takes for one to realize this depends on you of course. Attraction is so much more than looks. There are many aspects of attractions and one of the greatest things that are attractive in my opinion is someone’s personality.

Journey

Life is a journey full of past and upcoming experiences. At times in our lives, we look at others and wish we had their experience. The thing is we should experience our own body, mind, and soul. How else are we going to be able to find our way. Understand exactly who we are. Figure out our lives and live. To be so concerned of what others are doing, experiencing and living neglects our own lives. Why not go out there and do what you see those others doing. We should start living our own lives instead of being so concerned of others. There is so much out there to experience and just think how fulfilled you will feel once you begin your own journey…

You're Never Alone

At some point in our lives we all feel like we are all alone. We feel that no one else understands us. No one else is able to be in the same place we are. The somber feeling we are having, no one else could possibly understand. We are never really alone. There is always someone else out there that feels just as down as we do. This gives a feeling of comfort. I do not wish anyone to feel so melancholy. It is just a comforting feeling to know that we are not alone. There are others out there with the same problems we have if not worse...

Fall through the cracks

After some break ups. We are feeling like there is so much left unsaid. Those words that we are needing to say, but never get a chance or have the courage to. They just fall through the cracks. “ I love you. I miss you. I hate life without you. I want you back.” Those thoughts that never are verbalized to the loves in our lives. We will always have the feelings that we do not miss, but they are trumped by such incredible things left unsaid. One starts to think what if. What if I said this. What if I said that. It makes us wonder if at times…Do they miss you? Would they wish you were here with them? Are they feeling the way you do? When we are with someone, no matter how afraid we are. We should express our feelings to them. There will always be a time when it is too soon, but you know when that is. Take a step back for a moment. Take a chance and hope they feel the same as you do. There is always too much left unsaid and if we would just say those words/thoughts and stop holding back…Our relationships might last a bit longer. We could actually have our happily ever after. Please don’t let those incredible moments ‘Fall Through the Cracks.’

Goodbye...

Sometimes it is just better to say Goodbye. When you have that one person in your life. The one you give your all to; heart and soul. You think the feelings they have for you are just as intense and nothing can tear you two apart. Only to find out later down the road, it was all a lie. They never really felt anything for you. For them it was just a game. A sick and twisted game. They are so lost and alone; in order to feel anything they must be in control at any cost. Even if it is at the cost of another. All you want to do now, is have someone take the pain away. Have someone say you were wrong. At this point it is not enough to say, “I’m Sorry.” It was all a lie and you have begun to hate this person. You see no future of loving them ever again. Only a future of hatred. In your heart you know, It is a shame and a crime at times to hate anyone. At this moment though, it is the only way you can feel for them. Everything you’ve been through. Everything about them. It was all a lie. To stay would be suffocating. The best thing to do is say Goodbye…These moments are the toughest to get through. Thankfully, if nothing else, we all at least have music to help us through. The lucky ones have an incredible support group (friends) to get them through as well...

The Power of Compassion and Understanding

There are those times when we feel like we are total screw ups. Those moments when we are just feeling so down and out that nothing can change our mood. There are then moments when we realize we have those people in our lives. The ones that have true compassion…Compassion is a virtue, one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy are regarded as part of love itself. Accidents will always happen in our lives. There will always be a time when we are misfortunate enough to have something terrible or just sad happen to us. This is when we need to have people in our lives with true compassion. They are the ones that make everything ok. They make us feel like it really is not so bad. Instead of us thinking that so many others out there have it worse. We think that we are the ones that have it the worst in the world. The realization that life really is not so bad at these moments is achieved through incredible people with compassion. I for one am blessed and happy to have these types of people in my life.

Encounters

In life we all have various encounters. Some are breathtaking, enlightening, depressing, cheerful and sexual. Every encounter, big or small is significant in your life. They all have some type of meaning. There is always a reason for each encounter happening. At times the reason does not appear to be clear at first, but then in hindsight it all somehow is…There are times in our life when we are feeling down and out or just lost and alone. These are the times I believe we meet those people that can help us. Inadvertently guide us in the right direction. Although it is never apparent at first…When it all comes to light, we realize those encounters good or bad were all necessary in order for us to move on in our lives and LIVE.

Truth is Everlasting …

Apologies...
Have you ever been bought? Has anyone ever tried to pay you off? They knew they did something wrong or made a mistake. Instead of actually owing up to their transgressions they want to do so much for you. A simple “I’m Sorry” would suffice just fine. There is so much power in just saying, “I’m Sorry.” To own up to what you did shows how strong you are. It takes a strong and incredible person to actually apologize to another. Friendships have been lost because of this. Relationships have perished. Families have struggled and torn apart because of those who are just too proud. I truly wish more people in this world were able to own up to their faults and just say, “I’m Sorry.”

Lesson Learned

Have you ever been so excited about something to the point you want to tell the world? Your hopes are heighted and you feel that this is finally it? You have finally gotten one of things you were looking for in life? An incredible something that will just start you on the path of awesomeness? What does one do when this one thing you have told the world about. Everyone you feel is close to you. They are all excited for you. Constantly asking when it is going to happen, so they can celebrate with you. Planning and other things start to happen. Then the worst thing happens. The one thing you had, completely goes away. It all falls through. There is no longer that one thing to start you out. You have a feeling of total embarrassment, because now you have to tell everyone. Instead of keeping this one piece of news to yourself, until you have obtained it. You had to go and tell everyone about it. Even before it was official. This is what we call a lesson learned. A moment where you look back and say, “ I should have done it this way. Next time I will do things differently.”

Flashback (Excuses)

Why do people make excuses? Why not just be more up front? Instead of perpetrating a fraud and acting so busy in their life. Just say what's really going on. Is it not better to let someone down in the beginning; instead of dragging it out to the point where they will be even more hurt down the road when more feelings develop. Why do we always seem to be so busy in our lives when we are not interested in someone?

Back Pocket

Why is it that when we are sad, we look for that one person who will make us feel better for the moment? There is always that one you know you can call even when you shouldn't. They would jump at any chance to be with you. You on the other hand, have no intention what so ever of being with them. They are just simply someone that you like to keep in your back pocket. Only for those moments you do not want to be alone, need something fixed, a favor performed or a moment to feel fulfilled/satisfied. For you, this is a perfect deal and person to have around. For the other, it is a devastating cycle they for some reason cannot get out of. Is it because they are in denial? I always hear and say "Denial is a strong thing." It could also be, they just hope one day you will realize they are the one for you. The one that will make everything better. After all, it has been this long they have been sort of doing it. Why not invest in them full time. Give back a little. Maybe it is because we truly know deep in our hearts, there is no way it could be. It is just not meant to be between the two of you. If only we could actually be honest and just tell them the real deal. Why don't we? Are we afraid of losing that one? If so then Why?...

Goals and Expectations

When we start a new adventure in our lives; whether it is moving to a new place, beginning anew, or just simply taking on a new endeavor. We sometimes are saddened when our hopes and aspirations do not live up to our expectations. Thinking everything will be perfect. That life could not get any better after this; there is no way anything could go wrong. The fact of the matter is, we are sometimes naive. Naive to the fact that life will always have obstacles. There will always be something or someone in our way. The only thing we can really do about it is tough it up. Be a grown up and just stick it out. Always do your best and never give up on your dreams and aspirations. Those goals that you set in the beginning will be achieved. So what if it is not done in the timing set for yourself. Not everything goes our way. Stay confident and focus on completing those goals. When they are finally completed. The challenge it took to get there will make your succession that much more incredible.

Connecting

Have you ever thought there is a reason you do not truly connect with someone? A relationship that is totally on the surface on your part. Maybe it is because you feel that you are not worthy...? A feeling of superiority? Why is that? We give our all as we like to think to each person we get involved with. Once we take a step back, we realize...Maybe it is us and not the others for the reason of it not working out. After all, there has to be some fault on your part. Otherwise, there would still be one of them around in the first place. We all feel that others have not been through what we have been through. Once we actually open up. We find there are others with similar experiences. We find that there is someone we can actually connect with.

Everything

What moves you? I heard a song today that literally moved me. It was not the first time i heard this song. Each time i hear it, nothing else matters. 'Everything' by Lifehouse...An incredible song about love. Truly being in the moment and actually being In Love with someone. The point to where you are truly balanced. Although there is still a storm or issues going on in your life. Just having that one person with you, makes you feel you can take on anything. It is sort of like having a personal boost without actually having it. That one person you meet and become involved with. They 'Complete your life'. They are everything you want. At some point the want you have for them in your life, actually begins to become a mixture of want and need. There is nothing like it. An indescribable feeling.

Be Like That

Have you ever been out somewhere or watched an episode of a show? After that moment you felt that you would almost give anything to be in those shoes. Just thinking that if you could be like that you would be perfectly, incandescently, content with life. You would give anything to live just one day, one moment in those shoes...The thing about that is, there are other factors in the life of the person being idolized that you may not want or like when experienced personally. There are many who only want the good things in life without the bad or the struggle/work it takes to actually achieve them. What appreciation would we have for anything if there was no work or effort put into it. There simply would be no end result. There would only be. This I think would actually would make one feel unfulfilled. Why not put effort into everything you do. Strive to be who ever you idolize, but in your own way. After all if we were all the same life would be pretty dull.

Fillers

Have you ever met someone and felt and instant connection? That feeling that you two should be together and you really cannot understand why it has been this long to finally meet one another...The other day i was feeling this way. What does it mean when you are genuinely interested in someone you know you could never really be with. Why is it that we get these types of feelings? This got me thinking. The relationships we have with others are sometimes fillers. Those moments where you are completely happy being single but have those moments where you need a stand in for select occasions. Those moments where a friend is just ok, but to show up with a significant other is great. Why not just have a friend pose as a partner. Is it because we miss that intimate connection? Those moments where you can actually have someone there...As i have said before. Love is Tricky and life is only the same.

One Day At a Time

The other day while at my favorite local cafe relaxing and people watching. I saw an incredible older couple. They looked so happy and into one another, like it was their first week of dating. In speaking with them, the two phrases that stuck with me were: "Never go to bed angry or unhappy with your spouse" and "Always just take it one day at a time." The first phrase i have heard a countless number of times. The second i have only begun to hear more frequently from others. This got me thinking...When we meet someone that makes us feel incredible and happy with life. We should just take it one day at time. So what if it does not work out. At least you know there was no over analyzing and you just lived. What is most important is not that the two of you "Lived Happily Ever After." The main importance is that the two of you Lived...

Knowing Someone

The holidays have recently passed by. This was a time where a majority of people couple up, in order to not be alone at such a wonderful time of the year. I have met a few people that were together, but gave off the feeling they did not really know one another. Have you ever been in a relationship or dating someone that you did not know at all. This got me thinking...Why not slow it down, take a step back, and just truly get to know someone before diving head first. When it comes to matters of the heart, it is always tricky. You cannot really be "In Love" with someone if you do not truly know them. You can always care or just love someone they do not really know, but I do not believe you can really be "In Love" without truly knowing them.

To have someone that really knows you. Inside and out, the good and the embarrassing. There is not comfort like that. To have someone that in a way needs you in their life. There is no drug like that. To be alone and truly content with your life. That is truly indescribable.

Take me As I am

The other night I had dinner with the most incredible, insightful and comfortable woman i have met in a long time. Our conversation was non-stop and so easy. Of course we got around to my favorite topic...Matters of the heart.

Have you ever met someone who is so imperfect yet so perfect at the same time. I have met a select few where i have thought this. Some are in the most incredible relationships, while others are happily single. "Take Me As I Am" a great phrase and powerful statement. There are so many people out there who try to change for another person. Why is that? I know we all want to love and be loved in return...Does it have to be at the cost of losing one self. To not be able to be yourself is a tragedy. It is a feeling of not truly being comfortable around others. Not matter who we meet in life, friends or lovers. One should always keep this phrase in mind. If they cannot accept that, then they are not meant to be in your life in the first place.

"Own It"

Have you ever asked someone what they like or love to do? They sit back and hesitate with their answer, because it is a little embarrassing...Why not say what you like and just "own it". There is nothing wrong with owning up to what you like to do or what you love in life. The thing is that if people realized that once they owned their life...they would realize how much others are like YEAH!!!! that's cool. There is nothing more incredible than meeting someone that is confident in themselves. Truly just being OK with who and what they are. What they like and what they do in their lives. I have met many people who i would not really agree with them in what they do, but because they "own it," i am like Hellz yeah YOU are AWESOME. This is because confidence is very attractive and a great quality to have in a friend or relationship...

Only with Laughter Can You Win

Live, Love, Laugh....Three words that mean so much. To truly live is an incredible thing. To truly Love is indescribable. To Laugh means you are Living and Loving at the same time. What is life without laughter. Some of the greatest times of my life are from the moments where i have literally done nothing but laugh randomly all day. On my Pandora today i came across this song by Rosie Thomas and it seriously stuck with me. To meet someone if even for a moment and have them truly come into your life...Indescribable. Even if it is for one night. One's life could truly be changed forever.



"You and me, me and you
There's so much that we've been through,
Through it all Ive come to understand Gods love.
And if tomorrow never comes
Know this twice, just know this once.
Knowing you has made me able to go on.
You and me, me and you
There couldn't be a better two,
To be blessed and know the meaning of true love.
And if you leave me I feel scared,
Fall apart so unprepared.
But I dare to make it trough all on my own.
Yes I dare to make it trough on my own." By Rosie Thomas

Advice

Why is it that those who give the greatest advice, do not take their own? A friend of mine who gives excellent advice always has a different set for their own issues. This got me thinking...The greatest psychologist and psychiatrist out there always have someone else they seek out for advice and to vent to. Is it that we realize what we are telling others and just need reassurance or are we just too stubborn to take our own advice. I for one know that i must remind myself at times to take my own advice. There are many situations where when you see them or are told about them the result or opinion is clear. When we are actually in the situation the opinion is totally different. As a friend of mine says "But we are in Love." Yes, at the moment everything seems to be going great, but after you two come to a realization and break up...There is always a moment in hind sight where one says, "You know he/she was right"

Too Soon

I have an interesting story...Now I am curious if anyone is as taken back as me when i first heard it.

Two people go on a date with one another. They have a great time and connect really well. Everything is going so well, that one party invites the other to a party with them that very night. Mind you it is New Years Eve so why not drink and be merry. Both parties get pretty wasted and pass out. Now here is the surprising part. One wakes up to the other guy giving him a blow job. Now before you start thinking what i know you are all thinking. BUT....It's the FIRST DATE!!!! I could see if the two were dating for a while, but they are not. Needless to say the two have not had a second date.

This got me thinking, when is it too soon to give it up? Sometimes it is totally ok to "Put Out" on a first date. The key thing is that it should be a mutual feeling and totally consensual. I myself have been on many dates. A few I have "put out" on the first date and they turned out to be great relationships. Others turned out to be just a few weeks of crazy sex that I thought was dating and turning into a relationship at the time. In hind sight i realize it was the ladder. A personal note to self is to wait until the feeling is right and you see your life with the other person in the future. Whether it is the near future or further. I guess this is sort of a tricky question because every situation is different and no one is the same. I have many married friends that are happily together for a few years and definitely "put out" right away. The key though as all have agreed upon...It should be totally consensual and both parties need to be conscious at the time. I agree because I mean how can you really enjoy something if you cannot recall it happening...

The Right One and Independence

Looking for the one...The right one. The one we think will make our lives perfect and complete. At times this happens too soon and makes us realize, what we thought we wanted is not what we really want or need. Even the most independent people secretly are looking for "The Right One." The reality is that once we find the one person we feel completes our life, sometimes it makes us realize the timing is not right. A relationship where one is taking care of the other and the world just simply could not get any better. One day we sometimes realize that a sense independence is necessary in order for us to truly appreciate and realize who we want and/or need in our lives. A relationship may end because of this, but both parties may actually need this in order to grow in their own lives separately. Life is always a never ending journey. Sometimes with with complications but never the less a journey.

Remember Me

We all would like to be remembered in life. For something great, big or small. I just watched the movie "Remember Me" and as the first time i saw it. It brought tears to my eyes. A great film about relationships big and small. A great quote from the movie..."Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. Because nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says you're nowhere near ready, but the other half says: make her yours forever." This got me thinking. One should always take that chance. It is possible that the turn out will be less than positive, but on the flip side something great can come of it.

न्यू इयर न्यू बेगिनिंग्स

It is the start of a new year. I am planning to keep up with my blog this year and write much more often. It has been a little over a year since i have written and have so much in my brain to jot down.