Point

Growing up we are told there will be a time in our lives where we hit the point. The point where we want to settle down. Tired of playing those games. We wake up one day and realize we have everything we need in our lives. Now we want someone to share that with. We want another there to hold, feel, love. Have all of those emotions we hear and see from others in love. What happens in our lives that brings this on? Is it seeing others in love? Seeing the happiness and feelings they have for one another? It could be a combination of things. Some days I think back on past loves and past relationships. Thinking about what went wrong. What could I have changed. What If I did this or that differently. I then reach a point where I am glad they all turned out the way they did. How else would i have learned. Learned what love is. Instead of wasting time with fillers I can settle down with the right one. I think that time in our life happens right after we truly figure out what we want in our lives. We then know the aspects we want out of a partner.

Relationships and Marriage

Marriage is the ultimate commitment. The moment in your life where the two of you are ready to take the next big step. It is like telling someone, “You are the One.” The one you want to spend the rest of your life with…I met the coolest bartender the other day. In speaking with them, I realized how in love and happy they were. It is an incredible feeling to know that kind of love and commitment still exist. I for one love to meet solid happy couples or a person in a committed relationship. It is fascinating and makes one feel good to know this kind of thing still exist. To have that kind of feeling when you are with the ONE, is incredible. I always say, “Relationships are incredible, Love is indescribable.” Meeting this bartender the other day made me think of this again. To describe the intense happiness and contentment they had would not do justice. During our conversation we hit the relationship and matters of the heart topic. My two favorites. How do you know when you want to be with someone for the long haul? I always hear there is a set time frame when you will know. Know that you have met your “Great One.” I beg to differ with this. When meeting someone and starting the dating cycle, after a few dates you should know. Know if you see it going somewhere. Foresee a future together. It is one of those things where you just know. It cannot truly be explained or have set time...Relationships are AWESOME and I love being in one. The feelings you have for each other and the intensity cannot be matched by anything else in this world. The most important thing to remember is relationships are not perfect. There will be disagreements, adjustments, compromising, etc. The thing is at the end of the day, you should be like, “This is it.” There is no one else in the world you want to be with. The next step is the ultimate commitment…Marriage. When you have reached the point where you want the other to know you want to spend your life with them. I truly wish I could encounter more people like the one I met yesterday. They inspire and make you feel better than you already do. Like a boost of happiness…

Stick With You 2

Why do our brains (or hearts) do this to us? Why when we know someone is not right, we still think about them out of nowhere? What makes the difference between the person who remains in our heart and the one we can just forget about? Lately I have been thinking about this and have no definite answer. The relationships we have in our lives are always significant whether we think so or not. Each person we meet came into our lives for a reason. Even if it ended terribly, it was for a reason. Every relationship is an experience to prepare us for the one. We learn what we should do differently, so when the ONE does come along…We can deal. I don’t think we are ever truly ready for love. I just think we can be as situated and stabilized with our lives as possible, so we can accept and appreciate love when it comes. Those people in our lives that we are able to forget about, did not touch us as much as the one’s we cannot forget. Those people never really got to you. They were just fillers. The one’s who pop into our minds at random times are for a reason. A moment where you really wish the trait they had was in another. I believe that maybe those that stick with us each have a little something in them that we want in our idea lover…

Stick With You

Have you ever had someone in your life that you could never forget? No matter how hard you try, they always seem to cross your mind? The littlest things always seem to spark them in your mind? Every so often this happens to me. Even after all the people you’ve dated, this one person always seems to randomly be in your thoughts. Listening to music, hearing a song that has nothing to do with them. Driving to work in the morning and seeing something that makes you wish they could see it too. Now the feeling does not have to still be romantic. You just for some reason want them in your life. All of the times you had together have been classic…Sometimes we meet people in our lives that just always stick with us. Whether they are close by or miles away. They will always remain in your heart. It could be that you want to be with this person, but know it could never be. Circumstances are the only thing that stand in the way. It is not that the two of you have any angst against one another. It’s just a matter of timing. If things were different, it could have worked. Now that you are in a different place in your life. You want to forget them because it is the only way to move on. Live your life and achieve happiness.

Appreciate Them

Too often we take for granted the people in our lives. The great ones. Family, friends, lovers. Those who we assume, will be there forever. No matter what, even if we leave and come back. We assume they will be there waiting for us to come around. The fact of the matter is, they will not always be there. They get tired. We should remember they have their own lives and feelings too. One day you will open your eyes and realize they are nowhere to be found. You have no one to blame but yourself. For never being there for them. For having such a one sided relationship. Taking them for granted for so long…

End of a Friendship

Friendships end. It is just something that happens. Sometimes the people we meet are not meant to be in our lives forever. Some friends are only there to help you along the way. They were only there in our lives because we needed them. In some way we used them in order to grow in our lives. Other friendships end when one can no longer accept the ways of a friend. You get to the point where they continually make the same mistakes over and over again. Eventually you get tired of it. You have voiced your opinion time and time again to deaf ears. There comes a point in your life where you do not want to be there anymore. It is exhausting to constantly have to be there for someone. A friend should want to be there for you. A friend will at some point make a terrible decision for a potential love. The thing is that you can only forgive so many times. You wish they would realize the control they lose around this person. They are just not themselves. All logical reason goes out the window. When they are around this person nothing else matters. No one else matters. The feelings of others are no longer considered. It makes you so hurt that you get to point you just don’t want to deal with it any longer. You love them and want to friends forever, but the end is coming. If only they could realize these things before it’s too late. Maybe then and only then the end will never come.

Just A Feeling

Have you ever looked back on a relationship and realized you knew when it was coming to an end? Have you ever been in a relationship and saw the end coming? Just a feeling you had in your gut, soul, heart? Sometimes you just know when it’s over. Looking into someone’s eyes and they are no longer where you are. It feels like they are looking right through you. The moment where they have checked out. They have lost that feeling they had for you. At the moment you cannot believe it is over. You are not ready to let go. The life the two of you had. It is something you wish, could have been perfect forever. There is now so much said, through the ways they are so emotionless towards you. The life has been sucked out of them. They are there with you, but truly hurting in side. Those moments where the two of you are making love. They are really crying inside that it is over. You know it as well as they do. They stuck around for so long refusing to give up on the love the two of you once had. Now they are finished. All of the signs have been there. Only now are they so, “in your face” you have no choice but to accept it…

Learn the Hard Way

Why is it that when we are given advice, we sometimes take it with a grain of salt. The advice given from an outside perspective could be profound. It could be advice that can save us. Prevent something terrible from happening in our lives. Those permanent scars we incur along the way, because we had to be stubborn, could have been prevented. Those of us lucky enough to have great friends in our lives should listen to them. More than likely, they are looking out for you before themselves. When the time comes and you are so hurt you feel like you can’t go on. Those same friends will be there for you. There will be no recourse or “I told you so.” Just their unconditional love they have for you. Although In the back of their minds they may be thinking, “I wish you would of listened.” Sometimes though, the ‘School of Hard Knocks’ is the best way to go. It is the only way some can learn.

Crush-->First Date-->Disaster

A crush is an object of one’s infatuation. We all have had a crush at some point in our lives. What happens when we pursue our crush? Taking that next step to turn our crush into something more…Sometimes it can turn out amazing. The feelings you have for them are on point. They are everything you imagined they would be. At other times it can be a disaster...The other night I went on a date with a crush. Thinking I was interested and wanted this to turn into a relationship. Sadly I was hit with a hard dose of reality. This date was a disaster, in my mind. They did not live up to any of my expectations. I sat there pretty much having a conversation with myself and pulling teeth for information. In speaking with a friend I took into consideration that maybe they were shy and nervous. I realized that I cannot be with a shy person or a total introvert. An extrovert (Me) with an Introvert (them) does not work in my case. Yes, I felt a bit of disappointment, but felt good to know that I already know what I want and do not want.

Before, After, Now

Before I met you, I was someone. I was alive. I was confident. I knew what I wanted and always took chances. Before you, there was no dark. Life was incredible and could only get better. Before I met you, I knew what love was and yearned for more. Before I met you, I was happy…After I met you, I felt so alone. I was dead inside and had low self esteem. After you, I became afraid to take chances. Those extra leaps seemed so impossible. I lived my life in the dark, with no chance for light to come in. After you, my life was a disaster. After I met you, I questioned love. Love became a form of pain to me. I vowed to never love again. After you, I was unhappy. Now as time passed, I am happy. I understand what it feels like to be alive. I am now truly confident. Now I choose the risks I take. I understand the balance needed in life. Now there is light with a little bit of dark. I now appreciate all that life has to offer. Now I really know what love is. What it is to love someone and have them love you in return. Now I am happy I met you. You made me feel. You forced me to understand what love isn’t. You taught me an incredible lesson without even realizing it. Through all of the pain, I am now a new person. I am the person I have always wanted to be. I look forward to love and all it has to offer….I Thank You

First Dates

First Dates are always a little nerve wrecking. We all have hope it will turn out great. We want to leave feeling it was incredible and maybe finally, we have found the one. Although, sometimes we over think the date before it even happens. Thinking about every way it could go, from amazing to awful. We start to feel anxious and nervous about our upcoming courtship. The main thing to keep in mind is that we are ourselves. No false illusions come across and we do not set any precedent for future disappointment. After all if the other cannot accept you for who you are. You would be wasting your time to even consider a second date.

California (1 Year Later)

It will be one year since i have moved from the east coast to Sunny California in February. Life here most definitely has been been interesting. I am blessed to be working with incredible people and have made some classic friends. I am finally getting established here and it has taken a few risks and mistakes. After living with two sets of roommates in various counties, I have finally found a place that I can call home. I landed an Awesome deal for my own humble abode and it looks stellar...My new found friends and co workers have shown me a few great places in California. Wine tasting really is a relaxing and amazing experience. A trip to San Francisco was one of the highlight moments when i was beginning to feel a little home sick. The chilly weather and city like atmosphere was just what i needed to feel good again. With many other road trips and the timeless Sunday Brunches...I really have to say life on the left coast really isn't so bad. I have so much more to figure out and discover, but life so far is pretty good.

Losing Yourself

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and lost yourself? Lost the person you use to be before you met them? Sometimes we get into relationships that do not allow us to be ourselves. For so long we living in their shadow. We are working to be everything they want us to be. We are giving in and being molded into what they need or want. The person we use to be is left behind in hopes that someday in the future, somewhere along the way, we will find ourselves again in this relationship. Then one day we realize that we are truly lost. Lost in this relationship. We are tired of waiting for those moments of approval. Those moments when you feel or hear it is ok to be You. We begin to want to stand on our own two feet. The relationship we have could either change or end due to this. What is most important, is that we are ourselves. Not to ever get so lost again, that we lose ourselves…

The Power Of Love

There is a great power in love. Loving someone and being loved in return. After heartache and feeling like there is no way you could feel or love again. Someone comes along that makes you feel. They teach you how to feel and it feels right. All of your fears you had of loving someone again start to disappear. You begin to love parts of yourself. The parts that for so long, you have hated. Your broken heart begins to heal. You begin to reveal the parts of yourself you would usually hide and are afraid to confront. Love also teaches compassion and forgiveness. Love from another can change and do so much in our lives. We should all take time to appreciate the loves in our lives. The ones that have indirectly or directly helped us along in our journey we call life.

Burned and Moving on

Once you have been burned by a past lover it is hard to move on. You were so in love but had to let them go, because you knew they could never love you back...When another comes along, they initially do not get all of you. There is a part of you that is closed off...

When You Stop Searching

I always hear that when you are looking for something, you may never find it. Lately I have given up on dating and the search for that special someone. Now I have stated many times that I am no longer looking for love, but deep down I knew I really wanted it. As of late, I have truly and whole heartedly have been enjoying the single life. Spending time with friends. Having those incredible nights together where you wake up in the morning and think, “Whoa that was an Amazing Night.” Getting to know my new friends in California all that much more. Creating new friendships and acquaintances. The other day I heard from a crush. One that I have not seen or heard from in a while. Have you ever seen anyone for the first time and just think, “Now that is dating material.” We all have our thoughts where some people look screwable good while others look datable good-looking. This one was/is datable good-looking. As of now it is only a potential, but got me thinking about the search. The search to find the right one and how it evades us while we are looking. It is like only when we are truly comfortable with ourselves and being alone. The right ones begin to come along. Who knows instead of right ones…One day we will find the right ONE.

Inhibitions

It is said that when one has suppressed feelings or thoughts, they come out when all inhibitions are lowered. When one does some sort of extracurricular activity. Whether drugs or alcohol they are more open to do the things they really want to do. There is no reasoning stopping them to do what they have always wanted. This could be a number of things such as: going after the one you have always wanted in your life, taking a risky adventure or wager, having sex with someone of the same gender. The thing is that no matter how many times you try to convince yourself it was the drug that made you do it. The truth of the matter is, you would have not done so if you were not already thinking about it. A friend of mine had a hard time with this. They recently went to a party and ended up having sex with another of the same sex. Now they freaking out because it is not something they would normally do under other circumstances. The thing is in my opinion…It is what they always wanted to try out or do. Waking up in the morning, recollecting the night before and then saying, “OH CRAP” is normal. We just have to take a step back and figure out ourselves a little more. Why did this happen? Did I like it? Am I cool with it?...

Letting Go

When someone cheats and tells you about it, do you forgive them? Do you continue the relationship? It’s a situation where you are left broken. For some reason you cannot let them go. There is something that makes you want to forgive them and take them back. You are there waiting for them to come back around and be their old selves again. You still have your doubts and still not sure if the right decision was made. Falling apart, barely breathing with a broken heart. You are in love and find meaning in holding on instead of letting go.

Conquest

Talking to one of my dear friends the other day, we spoke about conquests. People who do not really want to date another unless there is some sort of conquest. They feel there has to be some sort of challenge/struggle. It is all a type of game to them. One should not have to win over someone’s affection. This is something that is either obtained or not. This got me thinking…How many of us having dated someone that was just looking for a conquest? Some of us have never realized this. While others did only after they had already given themselves to the other. A situation where you are with someone for a few months. Everything is going incredible. The two of you are together quite often and have the feel like this could be going somewhere. One day you find out that they are taken. They do care for you, but a large part of what keeps their interest is the conquest. The feeling of having a type of power over others.

Dollars

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were financially stricken? A time when you feel there is no way you can dig yourself out of the hole you created? You are feeling so down and out, thinking to yourself, you have no one to blame but yourself. No one else can truly put you in debt besides yourself. The source of the cash is actually you. You are your own person that is able to make decisions. Sure, there are many that get taken advantage of, but this is rarely the case people are in debt. Time passes and the bills keep piling up. They keep telling themselves this will get paid. Constantly putting off their debt until one day it has turned into a mountain. We are all able to dig ourselves out of these situations. Yes, it may take a bit of time in order to be back on our feet. Some of us by the grace of God have a support group, friends, family. Someone is there to show us the way. All of the tools are out there. We just need to use them. Financial advice is everywhere you look. Suzie Orman is on the television amongst many others. Barnes and Nobles has a huge selection of finance books. There are also those people that no matter what are willing to help. They will put you on a schedule. The schedule may seem unrealistic, difficult and just downright wrong at the moment. Eventually you will feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The key is create a plan, take it one day at a time and never give up.

Attraction

Have you ever been attracted to someone you see almost every day? One day you see them and realize they are not as beautiful as you once thought? This got me thinking. When we begin dating someone is it all about looks? I know all relationships begin with some sort of attraction, but are we blind to what they really look like…The way we see people always changes once we get to know them. Their personality, confidence, and charisma either makes you think they are beautiful or ugly. The time it takes for one to realize this depends on you of course. Attraction is so much more than looks. There are many aspects of attractions and one of the greatest things that are attractive in my opinion is someone’s personality.

Journey

Life is a journey full of past and upcoming experiences. At times in our lives, we look at others and wish we had their experience. The thing is we should experience our own body, mind, and soul. How else are we going to be able to find our way. Understand exactly who we are. Figure out our lives and live. To be so concerned of what others are doing, experiencing and living neglects our own lives. Why not go out there and do what you see those others doing. We should start living our own lives instead of being so concerned of others. There is so much out there to experience and just think how fulfilled you will feel once you begin your own journey…

You're Never Alone

At some point in our lives we all feel like we are all alone. We feel that no one else understands us. No one else is able to be in the same place we are. The somber feeling we are having, no one else could possibly understand. We are never really alone. There is always someone else out there that feels just as down as we do. This gives a feeling of comfort. I do not wish anyone to feel so melancholy. It is just a comforting feeling to know that we are not alone. There are others out there with the same problems we have if not worse...

Fall through the cracks

After some break ups. We are feeling like there is so much left unsaid. Those words that we are needing to say, but never get a chance or have the courage to. They just fall through the cracks. “ I love you. I miss you. I hate life without you. I want you back.” Those thoughts that never are verbalized to the loves in our lives. We will always have the feelings that we do not miss, but they are trumped by such incredible things left unsaid. One starts to think what if. What if I said this. What if I said that. It makes us wonder if at times…Do they miss you? Would they wish you were here with them? Are they feeling the way you do? When we are with someone, no matter how afraid we are. We should express our feelings to them. There will always be a time when it is too soon, but you know when that is. Take a step back for a moment. Take a chance and hope they feel the same as you do. There is always too much left unsaid and if we would just say those words/thoughts and stop holding back…Our relationships might last a bit longer. We could actually have our happily ever after. Please don’t let those incredible moments ‘Fall Through the Cracks.’

Goodbye...

Sometimes it is just better to say Goodbye. When you have that one person in your life. The one you give your all to; heart and soul. You think the feelings they have for you are just as intense and nothing can tear you two apart. Only to find out later down the road, it was all a lie. They never really felt anything for you. For them it was just a game. A sick and twisted game. They are so lost and alone; in order to feel anything they must be in control at any cost. Even if it is at the cost of another. All you want to do now, is have someone take the pain away. Have someone say you were wrong. At this point it is not enough to say, “I’m Sorry.” It was all a lie and you have begun to hate this person. You see no future of loving them ever again. Only a future of hatred. In your heart you know, It is a shame and a crime at times to hate anyone. At this moment though, it is the only way you can feel for them. Everything you’ve been through. Everything about them. It was all a lie. To stay would be suffocating. The best thing to do is say Goodbye…These moments are the toughest to get through. Thankfully, if nothing else, we all at least have music to help us through. The lucky ones have an incredible support group (friends) to get them through as well...

The Power of Compassion and Understanding

There are those times when we feel like we are total screw ups. Those moments when we are just feeling so down and out that nothing can change our mood. There are then moments when we realize we have those people in our lives. The ones that have true compassion…Compassion is a virtue, one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy are regarded as part of love itself. Accidents will always happen in our lives. There will always be a time when we are misfortunate enough to have something terrible or just sad happen to us. This is when we need to have people in our lives with true compassion. They are the ones that make everything ok. They make us feel like it really is not so bad. Instead of us thinking that so many others out there have it worse. We think that we are the ones that have it the worst in the world. The realization that life really is not so bad at these moments is achieved through incredible people with compassion. I for one am blessed and happy to have these types of people in my life.

Encounters

In life we all have various encounters. Some are breathtaking, enlightening, depressing, cheerful and sexual. Every encounter, big or small is significant in your life. They all have some type of meaning. There is always a reason for each encounter happening. At times the reason does not appear to be clear at first, but then in hindsight it all somehow is…There are times in our life when we are feeling down and out or just lost and alone. These are the times I believe we meet those people that can help us. Inadvertently guide us in the right direction. Although it is never apparent at first…When it all comes to light, we realize those encounters good or bad were all necessary in order for us to move on in our lives and LIVE.

Truth is Everlasting …

Apologies...
Have you ever been bought? Has anyone ever tried to pay you off? They knew they did something wrong or made a mistake. Instead of actually owing up to their transgressions they want to do so much for you. A simple “I’m Sorry” would suffice just fine. There is so much power in just saying, “I’m Sorry.” To own up to what you did shows how strong you are. It takes a strong and incredible person to actually apologize to another. Friendships have been lost because of this. Relationships have perished. Families have struggled and torn apart because of those who are just too proud. I truly wish more people in this world were able to own up to their faults and just say, “I’m Sorry.”

Lesson Learned

Have you ever been so excited about something to the point you want to tell the world? Your hopes are heighted and you feel that this is finally it? You have finally gotten one of things you were looking for in life? An incredible something that will just start you on the path of awesomeness? What does one do when this one thing you have told the world about. Everyone you feel is close to you. They are all excited for you. Constantly asking when it is going to happen, so they can celebrate with you. Planning and other things start to happen. Then the worst thing happens. The one thing you had, completely goes away. It all falls through. There is no longer that one thing to start you out. You have a feeling of total embarrassment, because now you have to tell everyone. Instead of keeping this one piece of news to yourself, until you have obtained it. You had to go and tell everyone about it. Even before it was official. This is what we call a lesson learned. A moment where you look back and say, “ I should have done it this way. Next time I will do things differently.”

Flashback (Excuses)

Why do people make excuses? Why not just be more up front? Instead of perpetrating a fraud and acting so busy in their life. Just say what's really going on. Is it not better to let someone down in the beginning; instead of dragging it out to the point where they will be even more hurt down the road when more feelings develop. Why do we always seem to be so busy in our lives when we are not interested in someone?