Straight Jacket Feeling

Have you ever had that ‘Straight Jacket Feeling’? The feeling that your life is being sucked out of you by another? At moments in our lives, we get ourselves tangled. Sort of trapped in an unhealthy relationship. This could be platonic or romantic. We are put through the ringer and reach a point where we have that ‘Straight Jacket Feeling’. We reach a point where we hold on by letting go. We realize that we are not the problem, they are. You wish the other could understand or feel what you are feeling. This ‘Straight Jacket Feeling’. Maybe then they would understand. When we let go we begin to be ok. Today you are fine without this person in your life. As time passes, the memory of them slips away. You have a better outlook on life. No longer a feeling that your life is being taken from you…

Why Force It...

uring a recent encounter with a potential love interest. I have come to a realization. One should never have to feel they are the only one putting effort into something. If this is the case then why even bother. There is another in the mix that should be putting just as much effort as you are. This got me thinking….Why is it that we continue to pursue those that are obviously disinterested? Is it because we so badly want them to want us? Or could it be we just feel this one could turn into something great? Even though we want all these things it cannot come about unless the feeling is mutual. Sadly this was not the case for me. The best way to get over someone is to totally delete them out of your life in every aspect. This is what needed to be done. This is what has been done. I do know one thing. I will actually miss this one. Usually it takes a bit for someone to get to me. This one was different. For some reason I actually really cared. I saw something in them that maybe they have yet to see in themselves. Even still I hope they one day realize and live up to their full potential. It is all I can hope for. All I can ask.

Scars

Scars remind us of past memories, mistakes, loves. Scars remind us that the past is real. Listening to “Scars” by Papa Roach today got me thinking…Scars are a beautiful thing. Each one holds a story. A story that only the one with the scar can truly tell. At times a scar may represent heartache but at least we lived through it. It reminds us that the past is real. It reminds us to feel. It reminds us that we have lived. With each scar we learn to grow and become a better person. What to do and not do in the future. Scars in opinion are incredible.

Timing

Have you ever met someone that is everything you have been looking for? Everything you always wanted, only to realize the timing is not right? Timing truly is everything. One can meet someone that has all of the qualities they want in another, but because of timing, they cannot be together. The two are in different places in their lives. Each wanting so badly to be with the other. If only they met a few years later, maybe it could have worked. One should not wait around for the other. It is sort of a serendipitous moment. If the two are meant to be together than there will be another time. Later on down the road they may meet again. The timing may be right the next time…

Go with the Flow

Taking it slow or just going with the flow. Is there any harm with going with the flow? Not having a feeling like you are rushing into anything. Just a feeling of wow this is moving fast, but it’s cool. You like the feeling and the feeling is mutual. Why not just go with it? Too many times we receive advice from others or even the one we are with. They feel the romance is moving too fast. Sometimes there is such an incredible and out of this world connection that we should just go with it. So what if others think it will not last. What matters most is what the two in the relationship think…

How do you Know...When it's over

How do you know? How do you know when it is over? Was it over before it began? As we begin to date someone, we know if it is going to last. We know if it will be just something for the moment. Meeting someone and wishing they could be the one for the long haul. We know inside this is not the case. We know they will only be around for a short while. At times, because we want someone to be the one. The one that is around for the long haul, we become more attached than we should. When that moment hits us and we realize it is over. We are a little hurt inside. The other will never know how hurt we are. They will only know that it is over as well. The two of you know it, but until one speaks up…The two of you continue to head down this downward spiral. Eventually hitting a point where it ends in a most undesirable way. Breakups are never easy. Breakups are never pretty. The thing is we should end a relationship, hanging out, or whatever it is called when we know it is over. Holding on only makes it harder and hurt more in the end.

Someone

So Lonely Inside, So busy out there. All you want is somebody who cares. Someone who thinks of you as much as you think of them. Someone who would go the extra mile to see you, to do something for you. Someone who loves all of your flaws. The quirky and strange parts of you. Someone who just knows you inside and out and appreciates you. When you are away from them, they miss you and you feel it. Sure there are parts you wish you could change, but you still love every part. They still love every part. All you want is someone who gets you. They just somehow get you. Once you meet this someone, you wonder where you went right. It is a mystery how you got here, but at the end of the day somehow you get it. Somehow now you do…

Liking Someone

"It doesn't matter if you like boys or girls. It is finding the right person. That is one of life's great mystery. When that person comes along, you'll know. Everyone else you have ever been with, it just pales in comparison. It will not matter what anyone else thinks, because you'll be happy and you'll know." Coach

Thoughts on His Mind

He sits at his desk staring intently at his spreadsheets. From the untrained eye, it would seem as though he is truly into his work on this very day. What others do not see, is that he is unable to concentrate. Thoughts on his mind. Thoughts of a her…He wonders, where she came from. How he is lucky enough to get a girl like this. There is so much he thinks and wants to tell her. Although, his ego and masculinity prevents him from ever showing his true feelings, so soon. On the exterior he plays it cool. Never falters…As he leaves work and arrives home, he begins to zone out once again. Lost in thoughts of her. Thinking about the way she moves, the curves of her body, the way she smiles and is always so modest about her achievements. Her winning personality and incredible charisma. Those eyes. The eyes that seem to look deep in his soul every time they connect with his. Where does one find a girl like this. There has to be something wrong with her, he thinks. Always guarded and afraid to let another in. The last girl he truly let in, tore him apart. She broke his heart and shattered it to pieces. Wanting this one to be different, he begins to take that chance. Moving at a much slower pace than usual. Forming a type of friendship, but at the same time, a romance. Unsure of his feelings at times, but knowing this is the one he wants to be with…

Today

Today I realized. Realized how much you were mistreated. For so long I never realized. I now understand why you are so closed off. Afraid to let anyone close. Afraid to let anyone in. I know you have been hurt in the past. Burned by those close to you. The ones you trusted and loved for so long. Family, Friends, Lovers…A tough life you have had. A life I would not wish on anyone. In this new place you can start anew. Create your own family and friends. Who says family has to be blood. I can be a part of your family. A friend that is there for you. Eventually a network will develop. Friendships will develop. A family created. You will have created a new life. Have everything you ever dreamed of. A Lover you have only dreamed about. The things that seemed so impossible. The ones you thought could only happen on the big screen, could become your life. You CAN have a happily ever after. You WILL have a happily ever after.

Thoughts on Her Mind

There’s a girl awake late a night. Unable to sleep, with such thoughts on her mind. She sits alone in her room at night and thinks about her life. She wonders how she got here. How did this happen. Thinking these feelings and emotions were locked away forever, never to resurface. Now that she has met someone different and unique in every since. The idea of never truly letting someone in, is once again debated. How could another like this exist. This is impossible. Guys like this only exist in fairy tales. Able to read your thoughts. Sense a feeling of emotion even from afar. This is a dream. It has to be a dream. All of these thoughts run through her mind. She to be optimistic and soon her positive thinking kicks in. Everything seems possible. She is willing to begin this journey. As she drifts off to sleep. She smiles and thinks about the next day. Looking forward to an understanding. Excited for what will happen next. What the future holds is but a mystery…

Guarded

How many of us are guarded when it comes to matters of the heart? Whether it is with our friends or potential love interest? Have you considered, why you are so guarded? I have realized I have a fear of truly being burned again. My first love. The one I truly gave my all to, really got to me. I was in tears and so broken hearted that I vowed to never feel that way ever again. Now that I’ve met someone who seems like they could be the real deal, I must learn once again to open up. Give as much as I am getting. It is only fair to do so and the only way for the potential of a relationship to transform into an actual relationship.

Connected

Is it possible to be connected with someone so soon after meeting. Less than a month passes and you feel connected to this person. The other night I was in a restless state. Laying in bed trying to fall asleep, but could not for some reason. Usually I never have any issue passing out/falling asleep. I can pretty much sleep anywhere as long as it is not freezing cold. Even then I have done so. While laying in bed I hear this voice. Telling me to relax and saying other things. Now the crazy part about it is that I could swear it was my new potential. I have had a lot on my mind lately and a little worried but how would they know. How could they know what is going on in my mind and be able to soothe and comfort me without actually being present…This got me thinking is it really possible to be connected with someone? In tune with their feelings, thoughts, and emotions? I believe anything is possible, but still a little taken back when it happens to me. As a dear friend of mine says, “The situation is always different when it is happening to you.”

Jumping to Relationship Status

In speaking with a friend the other day i discovered some incredible insight on relationships. Now these are ideas/thoughts that we all have already discovered and know. The thing is, we do not really take it in until it is said by another. In the most ideal relationships, we meet another that we feel is the one. The romance begins at a slow and steady pace and then accelarates so quickly that neither one of you know what hit them. During those first few dates the two of you feel there is so much in common. The goals and aspirations are in sync. The two of you are able to speak on a level that is unmatched by others. The thoughts and energy the two of you have is incredible. These feelings make the both you want to jump to the point of relationship at an accelarated rate. Every romance should not be rushed. Time should be taken to get to know one another. Court each other and build up the romance.

You Know

You know one of my secrets. Something no one else knows. You know. I feel close to you. Comfortable with you. Willing to take a chance and tell you things i would normally keep to myself. Lock inside and never let out. You make me want to open up. Be free of these chains. Free of any burdens. Everything feels lighter when I am with you. When I am away from you I also begin to feel lighter on my own. Able to take on my challenges. New challenges. Dive in head first without hesitation. I hope to one day know one of your secrets. Get you to feel comfortable enough around me to open up. Tell me things you would only tell a stranger, because they don't know you and wouldn't judge you. I want to give you strength. An extra leap in your step and boost of confidence without even realizing it. It's what i want. What I need. What I feel...

Who Knows, I know, I hope

Who knows if you are the one for me. Who knows if I am the one for you. Who knows if this will work out. Who knows if my personal issues will get in the way...I do know that I like you. I know you like me too. I know I want this work. I know it could work. I know I want to take a chance on you. I hope you want take a chance on me. Let whatever this is in the beginning stages, develop into something more. I hope you are the one for me, but who knows....

Afraid

How do you know? How do you know when you meet someone, they are the one that will last forever? The one you want to be with forever? Is it when you think about them all the time? Waking up in the morning wondering what they are doing? Wishing you could see them sleeping next to you? Have them wake up with you, beside you? When the two of you touch it is something like you have never felt before. Something so incredible. You hope in your heart this will be the one. Asking yourself inside, “Can I spend my life with you?” Could we be so afraid of it not working out that we sabotage the relationship? The prospect of a relationship? Afraid of taking the chance and putting our heart on the line? Why not throw all logic out the window and go with what we are feeling instead of our logical reasoning. Love does not make sense. It really is not suppose to. There are many out there that we have no idea why they are together. This is because you cannot help who you fall in love with.

Endevaours

Something New. Something Different. We should  all aspire to take on new endevaours in our lives. A new challenge. Start of a new adventure. Even if we do not end up liking the end result. The experience  we gain from each activity is priceless, timeless and at times...Classic.

Something Different

It was a cool summer night when they first saw each other. The moment their eyes met, they both wondered about this new feeling. A feeling for a stranger. Someone they do not know. Each thinking to themselves, “Who is this person. Why do I feel so connected to them.” One approaches the other and it feels so right, so easy to interact with one another. After time a date ensues. Incredible for one, but the other is a little more hesitant. Thinking this can’t be right. There must be something wrong. Trying to figure out these feelings. Asking why it is so right. Wondering if they have finally found their match…Another date ensues and the one breaks through those feelings of hesitation. Thinking, why hold back and miss out on something incredible. Over time more dates ensue. The bond/dates between the two begins to grow. Grows into something more than just casual. It begins become something greater. Their passion and feelings have sky rocketed. Each thinks, “This could be the one.” Months, weeks, days have passed. The two are walking home from an incredible French restaurant. It begins to rain, pour. They begin to run making it to the door step. Staring into each other’s eyes, begin to kiss and embrace one another. One pulls back and says those three words…”I Love You.”

Never Knew (Thoughts)

There are so many of us who have friends in need. Friends who need us there in their lives. Need to be saved/rescued from a situation they are in. We must speak up and ask if something is wrong. They will not always tell you, for there is fear of judgment or disapproval on your part. Remain open and make the other feel they can come to you with anything. Above all else remember to ask if you even have a small inkling that something maybe wrong. You could be saving someone’s life. Helping them go on and live a life they never thought could be obtained…Life is a gift and what an incredible one at that. Not everyone may be able to see this on their own. That is why friends are there to assist them in seeing how great life could be/can be. IS...

Never Knew

I never knew how much were hurting. I never realized how much you needed. I never knew you were reaching out for me. Crying inside, hurting inside. Wishing someone would come along and rescue you. I never thought you wanted any help, needed any help. You seemed so self sufficient. So independent and able to do everything on your own. Taking care of everyone, including yourself. A master of disguise you were. Always the one others looked up to. Others aspired to be you. Your name mentioned in various circles. Always praised, never slandered. Having no idea you were actually the one who wished you could be what everyone else thought you were. For so long I thought we were the best of friends. Maybe we were, but now I will never know for sure. In my heart I truly believe you did love me. We were the greatest friends ever to be united. No other friendships could compare. Now that you are gone I will never know for sure. You took your life and left me this note. A note of only two words, “I’m sorry.” Thinking in my head I have no idea what that means. We always said we would never be sorry for anything when it came to one another. I now feel there is so much I never knew about you. This discovery hurts me inside. Gets me thinking how many of my other friends do I really know. You were my confidant. The one I knew I could always come to for advice and comfort. I thought I was the same for you. I am still hurting inside. Thinking back to those times we had together. All of our crazy antics. I cry as I think of those moments. Oh how I miss you. Wishing I could have saved you. Knew what was going on. If only, if only I would have been there more. I thought I was, but maybe I wasn’t. I have so many questions. So many questions that can never be answered. No one knows the answer but you. So much of your life I feel I never knew. Never knew. Never knew…

Love was...You

Love was something I looked forward to. Love was what got me through the hard times. Those moments where I felt I could not go on. Love was everything to me. I was engulfed in love. Life without love was something I never thought could happen. Without Love in my life I thought I would die. The intensity and happiness I felt with Love was indescribable. Love was my life. I thought about Love every day. Waking up in the morning and going to bed at night, Love was always on my mind. You were my love. My version of love. I don’t think you ever knew. Never knew the way I felt. The intensity of my feelings. How dependent I came. Maybe you did know. Maybe this is why you are no longer in my life. You wanted me to understand what love really is. You knew while we were together, All I could think was…Love was…You

Didn't Know

Sometimes Love comes at the most unexpected of times. You can be out ready to see an old friend and meet the love of your life. All of sudden you are engaged in a conversation that you hope will never end. Love knocks you down and all you can do is get back up and take it. Just smile and think wow this is incredible. You know this is what love is. After all of the past loves, you thought you loved before. You now know, you didn’t know what love was until this one came into your life. ..

Situations

Have you ever had the most incredible day, to only receive the most devastating news towards the end? Something so tragic that it shoots right through you? What does one do when this happens? Go on living their life? This is incredibly easy to say to someone. Especially if you are not or never have been in this type of situation. A situation where you feel down and out. Thinking to yourself. Why? How could this happen to me? What have I done so wrong in life to deserve this? These are just a few things that goes through your mind. One can get over it in time. A support group of friends and family always help. It is an incredible feeling to know you have at least one person there for you. That one friend you know will be in your life no matter what. Even when life is at its worst there is always an upside to the situation. It usually is not clear at first, but hopefully one day seen we shall all realize what it is.

Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. The day where you get to do extra for that special someone in your life. I often hear one does not need to do anything for another on this day. They have been good to them all year round. Why not let the other do a little extra something on this incredible day. People are together because they care for each other. On Valentine's Day a couple feels they can do a little something extra crazy. Express their feelings for the other at a heightened level. This day could begin an intense romance. Pretty much I believe Valentine's Day is not over rated. It is a day where everyone gets an extra boost of confidence to do something for the one they care about.

Opening Up

Why is that we feel much more comfortable writing down our thoughts instead of expressing them? When we feel we have something to say, instead of actually speaking up and revealing what is on one's mind we write. Being expressive verbally is such an incredible release. It frees one of any regrets, what if's, etc...Opening up is hard sometimes but necessary to truly reveal who you are.

Success

Have you ever noticed that when one moves up in life, there always is one upset with your success? It could be the ones you thought were the closest to you, the distant friends you only see every once in a while. No matter what there's always at least one upset about you proceeding in life. Why is that? Is there something wrong with bettering yourself? Living the dream and achieving goals set for oneself? I think not

Wrong One/Right One

What is love? Love is being with someone who accepts you for who you are. Have you ever been with someone that just thought you did everything wrong? Thought you were a mess and just plain stupid, useless and hard to please. Then you meet someone who thinks the total opposite. They want to show you off to the world. Take you anyplace and never embarrassed to be seen with you. They think you are funny, and irresistible. The most incredible person they have met in a long time. All of those little quirks and flaws you have are just a grain of sand to this one. You now feel appreciated and not hated anymore. You realize how much better you feel with this one. In the past you felt beaten down… Now you think, “Where did I go right? How did I get you?” You have no idea how you did, but somehow now you do. Talking to a friend the other day I realized there are many of us that stay in a doomed relationship because it was convenient, a sure thing or just easier than being alone. A mistake almost everyone has done in their dating career. Later down the road we realize how early in the beginning it could have been prevented…

Maybe

Maybe I did love you. I was afraid to tell you. Afraid of what you would have said. Maybe I left because I was afraid. I had to get out of there. I lost my way down there. It’s easy to get lost in fear. Maybe the end is the beginning. Maybe I will find my way. Come back with a new sense of clarity. We could become something pretty incredible. Maybe you will be there waiting for me. Maybe you will have moved on. Found love without me. Found another who stands where I stood. Another who gives you all the things I never could. Maybe I will be too late. Too late to get back in your life. Maybe I will finally realize all that I had. All that I lost. Learn from this experience. Find a love of my own. Not be afraid and do it right this time.

Learning

The other day I had lunch with an ex of mine. We had a pretty whirl wind of a relationship. It went from Incredible to downright disastrous. There were so many things in hind sight I realized could have been prevented. Also, I see the decision made was a great one as there would have really been no chance of it ever lasting. This was an incredibly bright and structured person, but not someone I could grow or be with for the long haul. I realized through this relationship what I thought I wanted/needed in a relationship is not exactly what I wanted/needed. Sure it is possible to get those things we really want/need in a relationship. I just realized what I truly wanted and did not want. The values, goals, morals, energy and passion should be similar. I realized I want to enjoy every moment with that person and not hide my joy from anyone. To have to hide the intense happiness one feels about another and never really able to share with the world is a tragedy. I also realized the improvements I needed to make in my life in order to really appreciate and have someone in my life. So far I have accomplished a few of the goals I have set for myself. After all one cannot really ask another to have the qualities we want without having them in ourselves first. This would just not be fair. Relationships are always a gamble. At one point or another it is inevitable for one to hit the jack pot. Look back and think all of those others lead you to this point.